Holiday Magic

I love the holidays. And I got to do one of my favorite things last week – walk down Michigan Ave. in my new hometown of Chicago during a snowstorm. I’ve done it before, and it puts me in great spirits. I love the feeling when the glass is half full!

But if you’re like me, you find it difficult sometimes to stay in these optimistic places.

The Negative Pull

Despite these feel-good moments, it’s estimated that up to 80% of our thoughts are negative and that, of these, 95% are recycled. That is, like cows with their cud, we keep going over the same old negative stuff.

I can relate to this negative drift. I catch myself trending there more than I’d like. I often find myself revisiting challenging situations and conversations in my mind. I said this. They said that. I should have done this, etc.

It turns out that this negativity isn’t totally our fault. We’re programmed this way. Our brains are actually wired to be on the constant lookout for threats – real or perceived. So, we’re often on high alert and can get really negative and anxious, enjoying the adrenaline rush that might come with it. Sometimes it just feels good to stay stuck in Mark Samuel’s “Victim Loop.”[1] In these moments, I can also find myself being judgmental. And I can be very quick to go there.

What’s the Price?

I do wonder about the cost of a more negative mindset. What’s the price on our relationships? Our productivity? Our overall well being? Is it worth the effort to move out of negativity and judgmentalism to potentially improve these areas of our lives?

The Choice

Increasingly, I’m convinced that moving toward greater optimism is a chosen mindset. Humans have been given an amazing, huge gift – our prefrontal cortex (PFC)! Seriously, no other mammal comes close to our brain’s ability to self-regulate. But leveraging our PFC toward a changed mindset will take a solid dose of intention and hard work.

Working to develop a more forward-looking mindset, this isn’t new news. Spiritual leaders and philosophers have considered this for millennia. St. Paul says: Let this mind be in you. (Philippians 2:5). Aristotle notes that: The ideal person bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. Both of these statements assume a chosen mindset.

A Few Suggestions

So, practically, what do I do? How do I get more intentional about my mindset? Here are some considerations:

• Engage in a chosen practice to calm and slow you down. We move fast and, sometimes, mindlessly. What if you were to slow down, even just a little? This could be through prayer, meditation, music, or a long walk. Consider an app to help with these.[2] Pick a practice, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Try it for a week.  Try it for three weeks.
• Limit negative news feeds. The media sources know about this human penchant for bad news and feed into it. How often, really, do you see happy stories in your newsfeeds? I find too much bad news, literally, vexing.
• Identify those things that you do want to think about more often. For some, it might be sacred texts, other writings, or thoughts of key people in our lives. Again, music can be useful here. Put these positive priorities in writing. Don’t leave it to random chance.

It’s not my intent to oversimplify the challenge of negative impulses. But informed intention, coupled with measured discipline, could go a long way to a bit more joy in the new year.  

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[1] Samuel, Mark, Making Yourself Indispensable: The Power of Personal Accountability, 2012

[2] Insight Timer is a great app for this.