Me the SME

You’re most likely in your job because you’re smart and good at what you do. In some cases, you might even be a subject matter expert. Your opinions matter. So, what happens when your opinions or ideas are challenged? How do you typically respond?

As we approach fall, many of us launch into projects and initiatives. It can be great fun. And it can be anxiety-inducing as we navigate with our fellow stakeholders.

Polarization

When challenged, some of us will dig in and back into our corners. We polarize. Here are some common characteristics:

• Quick to argue the point
• Won’t listen to another person’s ideas
• Not genuinely curious about the other’s thinking
• More interested in being right
• Rigid, inflexible thinking

A reputation for being difficult and even somewhat argumentative is a potential team buzzkill, not to mention a full-on career staller.

There are definitely times when holding to a well-thought-out conviction makes sense. But can you thoughtfully distinguish between when to dig in and when to remain more flexible? Or do you almost always use a shovel or a hammer?

Problem-Solving Mindset

A counter approach to polarizing behaviors is to have a problem-solving mindset. That is a willingness to: 1) recognize that there is disagreement, 2) engage in a healthy, respectful back-and-forth, and 3) bring a disposition of openness to the conversation. Here are some elements of a problem-solving mindset:

• Willing to stop talking and listen
• Starts with a disposition of openness to others’ thinking
• Has a posture of genuine curiosity – asks thoughtful, open-ended questions
• Doesn’t always have to be right

I’m not suggesting that we become milk toast pushovers, as we should maintain our convictions. At the end of great questions and much listening, we could still come to the same, original conclusions. I am recommending an approach that works to preserve the dignity of everyone’s contribution to the process. It’s a demonstration of partnership and process.

Embrace Curiosity

Increasingly, we at Iridium are recognizing and talking more about the power of curiosity. If all you do is start asking genuine questions about what a person is thinking, you’re doing more than most. And it can be so disarming. Questions might be:

• What do you find compelling about that?
• How did you come to that conclusion?
• Why is that important to you?
• What priorities are in play for you with this?

Of course, tone of voice and body language are also key. (That’s for another blog post.)

Crack the Code

If you’re at all prone to polarization, start by looking at the first set of bullets on “polarization.” Rate yourself, from 1 – 10 on how likely you are to respond in that way. Where do you score on these? What impact might higher scores be having on your effectiveness as a team member?

If you really want to be courageous, have a couple of trusted coworkers rate you and talk about it. It might be tough. But, wow, what an honest, valuable conversation. Spend some time thinking about actionable steps you can take to improve those areas where you score high. Come with a problem-solving mindset to preserve the contributions that dialog brings and remember that genuine questions open greater understanding.